Running Away From Emotions, Dealing With It Later
I thought that because I could control myself, my emotions were resolved. This couldn't be further from the truth. If I had kept those emotions silenced within me, buried under the weight of the future and the intensity of the moment, they would have manipulated my life.
Yesterday, I received upsetting news. A very close family member was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer.
About two years ago, around the same time of year, this person also faced significant health challenges. Then, as now, I was in a difficult place.
I realize that our ambitions for success are often shaped by the idea of gaining money and wealth. Yet, money doesn't guarantee health. While it might allow you to pay for an expensive surgery, that surgery often doesn't solve the root problem. At best, it buys you time; the original cause of the cancer remains unaddressed.
Even the best doctors often think within isolated systems. The healthcare industry is fragmented, and the standard of integrated health solutions at a professional level is surprisingly low. Imagine studying medicine for over 10 years and receiving fewer than five hours of education on nutrition.
Nutrition is our fuel, the very substance we're made of, the life force that powers us.
I am writing to you today hoping to return to my true purpose. I don't know what I'm running from. Most of the time, I project an image of being controlled and capable. While I am resilient enough to withstand life's storms, I also feel incredibly powerless. And I know this is how it should be, because trying to control life is like trying to grasp water.
Perhaps I should write more about human emotions. Yet, I am not overtly emotional. I simply understand the importance of handling and experiencing our emotions, letting them move us for our optimal health. In fact, ancient Far Eastern medicine suggests that every disease results from a lack of life force flow (chi). Emotions are literally "energy in motion." Trying to control yourself in every situation can block genuine emotions. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not suggesting you express every emotion indiscriminately. I am telling you to be very careful about how you treat yourself.
When was the last time you felt betrayed? Do you still harbor those feelings towards that person? This poison you hold inside—let go of it. Forgive that person.
These deeply, unconsciously held emotions can manifest as blockages. And while scientifically unproven, I personally believe that blockages in chi flow can lead to cancer.
I have hurt people in my life, and people have hurt me. My girlfriend, Valentina, always says I should forgive, forgive, forgive. Her love is like a beautiful rose, purifying my inner world. With her, I've learned to let go more easily, while paradoxically becoming more eager for success—finding the balance, as we say.
Through her, I realized how much anger I still held within. I thought that because I could control myself, my emotions were resolved. This couldn't be further from the truth. If I had kept those emotions silenced within me, buried under the weight of the future and the intensity of the moment, they would have manipulated my life. They would subtly steer my decisions, causing me to act out of fear, unaware that the person who hurt me still controlled my life. It's frightening that I was taught how to process emotions and let them pass through me, yet I wasn't aware of how I was holding onto some of them.
Maybe these unmoved emotions would have turned into cancer at some point.
Something to think about.
If you're reading this and haven't cried in the past year or so, let this piece move you.
Kiss kiss,
Tarkan
